


Baby, it's cold outside

by Nanerich



Series: Tales from the Baby Science Bros [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Baby It's Cold Outside, Gen, Identity Reveal, hibernation, movienight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:42:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24827755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanerich/pseuds/Nanerich
Summary: Harley and Peter meet up for movienight, but thanks to the freezing temperatures outside it doesn't go exactly as planned.
Relationships: Harley Keener & Peter Parker, Harley Keener & Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Tales from the Baby Science Bros [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795858
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	Baby, it's cold outside

“There you are”, Harley greeted Peter, when he finally shuffled into the living room, “we were supposed to start our Lord of the Rings-marathon thirty minutes ago!”

“Sorry”, he pressed out between gritted teeth, way more quiet as was usual, prompting Harley to properly take a look at Peter. He was shivering horribly, paler than a sheet of paper except for his lips, which were blue.

“Fuck, how cold is it out there?”, he cried out and jumped over.

“Freezing”, he muttered and gratefully took the blanket Harley held out. “Thanks.”

“You look really horrible, should I get Tony?”

“Nah, you know what he'll do if you interrupt date night. I'm just cold”, he waved Harley off and all but disappeared in the blanket.

“Well, I'm making you a tea and you sit down.” Before Peter could react, Harley all but pushed him onto the couch and hurried off to the kitchen and rushed to get back to Peter who was barely recognizable underneath all the blankets.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks.” An arm came out of the blanket monstrosity and the cup disappeared inside Peter's igloo.

“Seriously, dude. I know it's cold, but you look like you just took a bath in the arctic.”

“I'm not Captain America”, Peter shot back. “I just don't do well with the cold, I'll be warmed up in no time.”

“If you say so...”

“I do. Now let's go to the shire”, Peter demanded.

“Yes sir.”

Harley had a hard time focusing on the movie, though. He always kept Peter in his eye, seriously worried about him. Not doing well with the cold? By the end of the first movie, Peter was just as wrapped up, not showing any signs of warming up.

“You feeling alright?”

“Yeah, I'm fine”, Peter kept on waving it off, “it's really comfortable.”

“If you say so...” Harley did not buy that at all. But Peter was a damn headstrong idiot, so Harley gave him the benefit of the doubt. At least for the time being; if Peter was still some glorified icicle by the end of the second movie, Harley would go and get Tony, even if disrupting him on a date with Pepper was about the most dangerous thing.

“So, we gonna do the whole trilogy?”, Harley remarked when Peter had been dangerously quiet for a while.

But, just as he feared, there was no answer.

“Peter?”

Nothing.

“Peter, I can't believe you fell asleep during the battle of Isengard”, Harley groaned, trying to push that voice of worry down. Carefully, Harley peeled that one layer of blanket covering Peter's face away to check that he was really only sleeping and hadn't choked on all the fabric he was wrapped up in. His skin was still scarily pale and icy to the touch.

“Dude, are you still breathing?” Shit, his chest barely moved, and Harley moved to check his pulse. Extremely weak. Oh fuck. “FRIDAY, tell Tony to come right now.”

“Tony reminds you he is on a date.”

“PETER IS FUCKING DYING!”

It took no more than twenty seconds for the door to fly open and Tony and Pepper to storm in. “What the fuck is going on? What did you do?” Tony all but pushed Harley out of the way and cupped Peter's face, checking his vitals.

“I... I don't know”, Harley stuttered, not sure how to react any more. “He's icy cold, ever since he came, barely breathing, barely has a heart beat and I'm so sorry, I should have told you sooner, I'm really sorry, it's all my fault.”

“Oh, thank god”, Tony sighed.

“WHAT?” How the fuck could Tony be relieved about Peter's lack of vital signs?

“Don't worry”, Pepper tried to assure him, “he'll be just fine and you did absolutely nothing wrong.”

“What... but how...” Harley couldn't believe what was going on. They reacted as if this here was a regular thing! “What the absolute fuck is going on here?”

“Nothing too major”, Tony shrugged and scooped Peter up in his arms and made for the door.

“Nothing too major?”, Harley repeated and followed Tony towards what was hopefully the medbay. “He's barely breathing! He has a non-existent heart beat!” If he weren't so confused, Harley would probably be bawling his eyes out right now.

“Promise me you won't freak out.” Tony almost blushed a little, repositioned Peter in his arms and shot Harley a small smile. “He's hibernating.”

“Right”, Harley scoffed. “Hiberna...” He halted, when Tony just shrugged. No humour, no chuckle, no wink, nothing. “Excuse me, what?”

“Peter is hibernating”, Tony repeated dead-earnest.

What were probably only seconds felt like hours to Harley, as he tried to compute what the mechanic had just stated. “Uhm... Wha... Huh?” All his tries to form a coherent thought or sentence came up empty so all he managed were some frustrated and unintelligible sounds as he gestured at Tony and Peter.

“Peter is gonna kill me for telling you this, but here goes. Peter is Spider-Man.”

Oh... So much information. Way too much information. Peter. Spider-Man. Hibernating.

“Ok, you look like you're about to pass out”, Tony remarked, “but can you maybe wait with that until we've made it to the medbay?”

“I... I...” Right. One thing at a time: Peter needed a heartbeat and then Harley could worry about the rest. “From your reaction I assume Peter's hibernated before. What are you gonna do about it?”

“Right then, prioritizing”, Tony chuckled. “First time it happened, I freaked like you wouldn't believe. But Bruce cooked up a hormone-cocktail that'll wake him up again.”

“Ok, alright.” That sounded still way crazy, but at least those were some concrete facts and something substantial Harley could work with.

“It's gonna take a bit for it to work to full effect”, Bruce explained, once Peter was hooked up on all sort of fluids running into his arm. “But he's gonna wake up, no issue whatsoever.”

“Good”, Harley nodded. Well, this was dealt with, time to move on to the next thing. “So, he's Spider-Man”, he remarked, turning to Tony.

“Yup.”

“But is he literally a Spider-Man? I mean genetically? Because otherwise he wouldn't hibernate, would he?”

“Interesting that that's what you're focussing on now”, Tony chuckled.

“Tony. Concentrate. Is Peter human?”

“Good question. Biologically speaking, not really. He has part human and part spider DNA.”

“Where does that put him with the Mutant Registry or the Accords?”

“He's nowhere registered with his real name”, Tony explained, “long, exhausting and in parts damn horrible story put short, he's officially affiliated with the Avengers but not an official Avenger, because that way he'd have to come out, so to speak. Therefore everything's run through me and Rogers. It's a total shitshow that we're trying to keep as far away from Pete as we can, he's got seriously more than enough bullshit going on as is, but it's a fight.”

“So what, you and Captain America are lawfully Spider-Man's guardians?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Wow. Harley head read the odd fanfic about that scenario, but knowing it was actually true? That was the kind of knowledge he could rule the Internet with...

“You alright?” Tony's hand on his shoulder brought Harley back to reality, or whatever this right in front of him was called.

“My friend is a mutant, currently hibernating and adopted by Ironman and Captain America”, Harley summarized, before he skewly grinning at Tony. “Just another day at the compound.”


End file.
